Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
News Anchors Can’t Handle How Dumb Ryan Lochte Is
We would feel bad for Ryan Lochte, except, you know, he won all those Olympic medals. These news anchors are so astounded by his amazing stupidity while promoting his E! reality show that as soon as the interview is over, they began laughing uncontrollably...
12 People Who Did an Excellent Job of Quitting
We saw this amazing resignation cake and got inspired. Not to quit our jobs, but to admire the ways others have in the past. Our most "creative" quit was telling the owner of a Chinese buffet over the phone that they couldn't yell at us anymore, because we quit so there. Compared to these, that just isn't that impressive.
10 Instances of Alex Trebek Being a Total Jerk
If you don't watch 'Jeopardy!,' then you don't know that Alex Trebek can be a just a *touch* condescending to the contestants. Although to be fair, it's hard not to come across as condescending when you're basically telling people they're wrong over and over again for half an hour.
Theater Employee Finds Novel Way to Dispose of Old Milk Duds
Having once worked in a theater, we can honestly say that this video is not the least bit surprising. An employee was instructed by his boss to throw away an old box of Milk Duds. Since his boss didn't tell him specifically the mode by which to do this, he took the liberty of turning the entire snack bar into a domino rally...
Find Out What 2,000 Calories Actually Looks Like
Here's a helpful video, if you were wondering how many carrots you could eat without going over 2,000 calories. If that sounds like something you definitely do not need to know, 2,000 calories is also quantified in Big Macs, pizza, Chipotle burritos and delicious, delicious avocados...
Watch All Six ‘Star Wars’ Movies at Once
If you've never seen any of the 'Star Wars' movies and just want to get it over with once and for all, here you go. This is all six of the 'Star Wars' movies that have been made to date. Conveniently playing at once in one video. That way you can knock out the entire franchise in a little short of two and a half hours...
Woman Letting Internet Name Her Baby for $5,000
Suddenly we feel very lucky to have been born in the '80s. Back then, our biggest naming danger was being called Brandi or Lacey. One mom-to-be is letting the internet name her child, so who knows what it will be called.
Cheerleader Makes Unbelievable Half Court Shot
The internet has been on a roll with the half court shot videos lately. Still, in terms of impressiveness, this one is going to be pretty hard to beat. It's hard enough to sink a shot from half court, but this cheerleader also did some fancy gymnastics stuff first...
This Is What Happens When You Drink 20 Year Old Crystal Pepsi
You know what? Good. We want this guy to puke. He calls himself LA Beast and thinks a shirt that says "SWAG SWAG SWAG" is cool. The only reason we wouldn't want him to puke is that he has a whole YouTube channel that is just footage of him subjecting himself to "Xtreme" food challenges that ultimately result in barf, so we suspect he might actually enjoy throwing up...
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Lonely? Here’s How to Really Wallow in Valentine’s Day Misery
Being sad, alone and pathetic is sort of a specialty of mine. To give you an idea, I've definitely been humiliated by an airbrush artist at an amusement park, which I was visiting without any friends. So when it comes to Valentine's Day, I've basically mastered the art of being totally miserable. Feel free to join me, but it's going to be a pretty rough night. Let's get started, shall we?
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Here’s Ellen DeGeneres Ogling Katy Perry’s Boobs at Last Night’s Grammy Awards
Congratulations are in order for Ellen DeGeneres after last night's Grammys. She didn't win an award, but she did do something possibly better -- say what we were all thinking about Katy Perry's boobs. With her face. On camera. Take a look.
Check Out This Amazing, Gigantic LEGO Ball Contraption
We only know a few things about the person who made this, and these are things we've deduced. They own a lot of LEGOs. They have an ENORMOUS room. They also have a lot of spare time and patience. And they don't mind the sound of plastic clanking together...