A Few Questions For The Pilots Of The UFO’s We Keep Seeing

It appears that aliens are more interested in our earthly Covid crisis than even we are.  That’s according to UFO enthusiasts across the country. Apparently with all this time on our hands to do mundane stuff like…well…take walks. We now have more time to study the skies. That lends itself to an increase in unidentified sightings or it could be we're just a tad more tipsy during our walks from adding day drinking to list of things we can do now. Who knows.

So with that said - I do have a few questions for our atmospheric travelers during their next visit.

Is there any way you can pass along the blueprints to flying cars sooner? The Michigan road construction season is always brutal and with more and more travelers returning to the roads, it’s only going to get worse. I don’t even care if flying cars end up Orange and shaped like orange barrels, just please help. Phone home ET and git er dun!

Can we please continue to call your spaceship a UFO? Even NASA scientist have jumped on the PC bandwagon by insisting now, that going forward, we identify your space craft as a UAP (Unidentified aerial phenomenon) Really? I’m sticking with good ol’ fashion UFO and may their binary coding numbers contain a 2.

Before you exit our atmosphere for your return home, can you grab whoever is responsible for taking the Frito Burrito off the Taco Bell menu and never bring them back please.  That was just plain mean and that earthling should be banished from our planet forever.  Come to think of it…take that Progressive Insurance lady Flo too. That damn campaign run its course a decade ago.

Okay, well thanks for visiting and obeying our social distancing rules by staying 6,000 ft away.  Don’t be a stranger and we’ll give ya a wave on your next trip over Kalamazoo.