You don't need us to tell you how badly we all need to say goodbye to 2020.

Below we've listed a bunch of songs that will help shove this flaming dumpster of a year off a cliff so we can get ready for the brighter days headed our way.

The Kinks, "Where Have All the Good Times Gone?"
From: The Kink Kontroversy (1965)

Of course the most important effects of the COVID-19 pandemic are the loss of life, widespread illness and unimaginable worldwide economic damage. But it's also made this 1965 Kinks classic the 2020 theme song for everybody's social life, since pretty much any outing that involves a mass gathering was canceled - from sporting events to movies and music concerts. Bonus 2020 misery points: The song was covered by Van Halen in 1982, which reminds us that Eddie Van Halen was another shining light this cursed year took from us.

 

Nilsson, "You're Breakin' My Heart"
From: Son of Schmilsson (1972)

We probably could stop right here, because the two words Harry Nilsson repeats the most on this infectious, but completely NSFW song, perfectly sum up our thoughts on 2020.

 

AC/DC, "Kicked in the Teeth"
From: Powerage (1978)

This song describes our mental state as fall gave way to winter, as the pandemic not only roared back but became stronger than ever: "Ain't this misery ever going to end?"

 

Scandal, "Goodbye to You"
From: Scandal (1982)

Don't you wish 2020 could take human form just in time for New Year's Eve, so we can all sing the chorus of this joyous kiss-off right in its big dumb face? This song is another unwanted reminder of Eddie Van Halen's death, since Scandal singer Patty Smyth was invited to join Van Halen before Sammy Hagar came on board.

 

The Beatles, "I'm Down"
(Single, 1965)

Fifty-five years before it ever happened, the Beatles summed up the overall vibe of 2020.

 

Ugly Kid Joe, "Everything About You"
From: As Ugly as They Wanna Be (1991)

"Good, good. Let the hate flow through you!" - Emperor Palpatine.

 

Ace Frehley, "Rip It Out"
From: Ace Frehley (1978)

Nice going, 2020. You even pissed off the man who's free to return to his home in outer space anytime he wants.

 

Motorhead, "Bye Bye Bitch Bye Bye"
From: The World is Yours (2010)

While there's probably about 50 Lemmy songs that would work for this occasion, this one seems the most on the nose.

 

Airbourne, "Runnin' Wild"
From: Runnin' Wild (2007)

While we've got Lemmy on our mind, he helps Airbourne do here what we should have done right at the start of all this nonsense: hijack an 18-wheeler and make like a bat out of hell for 2021.

 

Bob Dylan, "Positively 4th Street"
(Single, 1965)

"I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes, and for just that one moment I could be you be you. You'd know what a drag it is to see you." That about sums it up; all we need is a "Dear 2020" at the start. Hopefully, the new owners of Dylan's publishing rights don't come after us - that would make this terrible year even worse.

 

Pretenders, "Pack It Up"
From: Pretenders II (1981)

Get out of here, 2020! And take your insipid record collection, that dumb home-video center and your "usual pornography" with you.

 

Pride & Glory, "Hate Your Guts"
From: Pride & Glory (1994)

You're damn right, 2020, that's what Zakk Wylde said. And he speaks for all of us.

 

Pat Benatar, "Heartbreaker"
From: In the Heat of the Night (1979)

Let's have Pat Benatar take her best shot. We wouldn't mess with her if we were you, 2020.

 

Kiss, 'I Just Wanna"
From: Revenge (1992)

Hey, 2020! Just like Paul Stanley says here, we don't want a romance, we don't wanna dance - we just wanna forget you.

 

Ray Charles, "Hit the Road Jack"
(Single, 1961)

Oh, 2020, you're the meanest old year we've ever seen. Let's flip things around, though: How about you pack your bags and go?

 

Pearl Jam, 'Rearviewmirror'
From: Vs. (1993)

It's gonna feel so great when this year starts vanishing into the horizon behind us on the highway.

 

Led Zeppelin, "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You"
From: Led Zeppelin (1969)

And hopefully we don't have to wait until the summertime.

 

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, "Don't Come Around Here No More"
From: Southern Accents (1985)

As fun as it would be emulate this video by turning 2020 into a cake and slicing it into a million little pieces, you know we'd still get screwed in the end because it would taste horrible.

 

Motley Crue, "Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)"
From: Dr. Feelgood (1989)

To be honest, we don't care if this year goes away mad, sad or skipping with joy. As long as it just goes away.

 

Steel Panther, "Fuck 2020"
(Single, 2020)

Steel Panther don't do subtlety, which is good because this year doesn't deserve any. They tell the tale of the pandemic's rise and spread in their own profane way, pausing the wise-assery just long enough to pay a sincere tribute to Eddie Van Halen.

 

Linda Ronstadt, "You're No Good"
From: Heart Like a Wheel (1974)

We're feeling better now that we're almost through - feeling better cause we're over you, 2020. We learned our lesson, you left a scar, but now we see how you really are. And yes, again, Van Halen's 1978 version of this song serves another reminder of the loss of Eddie Van Halen.

 

ZZ Top, "Ten Foot Pole"
From: El Loco (1981)

Free advice to all future time travelers: Don't touch 2020 with ... well, you know.

 

Billy Joel, "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)"
From: The Stranger (1977)

Good luck moving up, 2020, 'cause we're making like Anthony.

 

Nancy Sinatra, "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"
From: Boots (1966)

We were briefly tempted to include Megadeth's version. But this is Nancy Sinatra's song, always and forever.

 

The Rolling Stones, "Dead Flowers"
From: Sticky Fingers (1971)

We'll never forget you, 2020. But we sure won't speak fondly of you either. After all, you turned rock's longest-running bad boy, Keith Richards, into a gardener. A gardener!

 

REO Speedwagon, "Time for Me to Fly"
From: You Can Tune a Piano but You Can't Tuna Fish (1978)

It's about time to wrap this up ...

 

Eagles, "Already Gone"
From: On the Border (1974)

Goodbye, 2020. Guess you'll have to eat your lunch all by yourself for the rest of eternity.

 

Fleetwood Mac, "Go Your Own Way"
From: Rumours (1975)

Is anybody else starting to feel better?

 

Steam, "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye"
From: Steam (1969)

The healing has started!

 

Elton John, "I'm Still Standing"
From: Too Low for Zero (1983)

Well, 2020, you took your best shot. We lost loved ones, friends, jobs and countless important moments. But things are turning around, and at some point in the near future we're gonna get our lives back and do things like go to concerts again. There are so many exciting moments we're looking forward to, including the one where Elton John busts this survival anthem out onstage again.

 

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