Wesley Warren Jr. needs surgery on his 100-pound scrotum. It affects his entire life, which isn’t shocking, considering it’s a hundred pound sack hanging between his legs. Doctors estimate he’d need about $1 million for the surgery to repair his massive genital area. Of course, Warren doesn’t have $1 million dollars and the chances of him raising that much cash are pretty slim. Although, if we’re discussing the odds of something happening, the Las Vegas Register-Journal explains that Warren having this condition is pretty rare.

In the tropical sectors of the world, a case of disabling elephantiasis would end up being attributed to a mosquito-spread parasitic infection. But Warren lives in downtown Las Vegas and has never traveled to anywhere tropical or even outside the country. Doctors who have examined him found no trace of the infectious disease that would cause his condition.

In an attempt to raise money, he went to a place where everyone might empathize with his condition. The Howard Stern Show.

He used the pseudonym “Johnathan from Las Vegas” to let people know that his penis is so buried in his scrotal tissue that he can’t direct his urination and often sprays the area around him. He also told — to more laughter on the set — of how he can’t sit down for a bowel movement and must catch it in the same kind of pail used in casinos for coins.

Now don’t you feel terrible for complaining about anything today? We certainly do.

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