Pumpkins

I am not good at a lot of things. Examples of that include cooking, relationships and pumpkin carving. However, thanks to this pumpkin carving hack video I can now cross one of the above off my list. Relationships and cooking will always be a struggle.

Between your foolproof stencil of Justin Bieber's face and an endless supply of premium 99 cent carving tools, you probably envisioned yourself minutes away from that dreamy pop star pumpkin glowing all over your neighbors' jealous faces. What could go wrong?

We’re self-proclaimed Halloween geeks. But honestly, how can you not be? There are so many ways to celebrate the holiday that by the time October 31st rolls around, our entire lives are defined by creepy stuff and ridiculous garb. Our pets aren’t big fans of the festive takeover, but that’s never stopped us from dressing them up as a turkey dog!

There are tons of things we love about America. Our grand ole’ country cranks out hysterical, nightmare-inducing shows about mini pageant queens and we throw Big Bird into the political scene, for example. But our recent discovery tops them all-- ladies and gentlemen, we live in the presence of the most recent world champion pumpkin grower.

Here's another Beauty from the Carl Coffey Patch.

A 1,818.5 pound pumpkin that currently holds the world record for the largest pumpkin is being carved into a macabre spectacle of flesh-hungry zombies.

At this year’s New England Pumpkin Growers Weigh-Off in Rhode Island, a boulder-sized monster pumpkin weighing in at more than 1,600 pounds took the top prize. Gourd almighty!