Michigan Turns 184 Some Gifts The State Needs
Happy birthday to you State of Michigan. Maybe it's the fresh blanket of snow that just fell talking,, but for something that turns 184, you honestly don't look a day over 150. Why if it weren't for all the pot holes marring the highways making our driving...now how should we put this...interesting, you would probably not look a day over 100.
Your youthful appearance is probably a result of the ever changing four seasons of weather you offer up to us annually. We especially appreciate you when you give us all four seasons of weather in one day. Which reminds me, your professional football team the Lions are a lot like your seasons...always changing. Yet arguably one could contest that like a miserable winter season in Michigan, some things are just so predictable and will never change...yes, just like a miserable Lions season.
You would think those silly militia members of yours with their dreams of kidnapping and over running your established government record of 184 years would age you...what yucksters. Even the delicious water you offer up in Flint can't add any wrinkles.
So what do you get a state that looks like it has everything?
Here's a few ideas.
*Make Mackinac Island the State Capitol. It makes sense, since any attempts at insurrection could be thwarted by shutting down the bridge leaving all the "protestors" trapped and vulnerable to water cannon attacks. Hell, secret slime buckets could be mounted to the bridge for added humiliation.
*Add one million roundabouts in 100 days. This would save the state millions on road repair because nobody would be able to get anywhere.
*Force the Michigan lottery to add free pot hole repair for the roads by your house as a prize. Lets face it...you are never going to win a billion dollar jackpot but a years worth of pot hole repair? Everyone will play, adding billions more dollars to our state.
*A championship euchre tournament that finally settles the score as to who is better, yoopers or flat-landers.
There ya go - just a few of my ideas for a birthday present for the state of Michigan. What would get the state of Michigan for its 184th birthday?
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